My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
