Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
