you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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