Is it because I queefed?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
