Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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