Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
When did angry sex become our thing?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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