Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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