Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
