we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
organizing the empties. That sober.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
