you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
