I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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