I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize