if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
