4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
one might say we're banned from that church
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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