I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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