It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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