i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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