i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
