Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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