I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize