I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake