i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn