It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive