then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I look excited, but its just a facade.