maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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