Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Randomize