I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I checked into jail on foursquare
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
