First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
