paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
a search helicopter?!
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Randomize
