You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
