I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
