I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
