I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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