Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
