4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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