when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
