He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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