i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
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