Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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