i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
