Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
