i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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