Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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