I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Randomize
