So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
