If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
