i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
