Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
