Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
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& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
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The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
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