Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
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