A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I currently don't understand fingers.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
