It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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