I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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