We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Come see our sink grown plant.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
