I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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