The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
My dad just said "fuck circus"
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
