drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
