Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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