How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
