i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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