I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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