Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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