I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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