zippers are such a cool invention
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
