is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
