"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
