What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize