Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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